What to do when your children leave home depends on YOU. This is the most important factor YOU must consider. Although important, in the greatest words which cliché ever uttered, this is “easier said than done”. Your big problem is that YOU haven’t (unless you are a truly awful parent – in which case you won’t be reading this) ever since they were born, put yourself first. This is one of the reasons we wrote this article – the other is covered below.

We are going to give you some instructions and reminders of very obvious circumstances. To get the most from this article, we advice you to read it, agree with it and then follow the instructions to the last detail*.

• Reminder Number 1

There is nothing you can do to help your son and daughter now. Unless they return home they will be standing on their own two feet

• Reminder Number 2

Your child will call you if they need anything so you don’t have to keep calling them. In fact, your child won’t like it if you keep calling them. So, here’s your first instruction: STOP CALLING THEM

• Reminder Number 3

You have done all you can for your child, now it is up to them. Undoubtedly you will be there for them if ever they need you – as long as your child knows this you have done everything it was humanly possible to do.

• Reminder Number 4

YOU are an individual you just have to rediscover that...

• Reminder Number 5

YOUR new (renewed) life starts HERE!

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Make your home your own again. You can do this by having a good clean out. Cupboards should be emptied, cleaned and put back again minus the debris you’ve collected ever since your child was born. Keepsakes and mementoes should be cleaned and either displayed in a pleasing manner, filed or stored.
2. Attend to your wardrobe. Remember when you took pleasure in your appearance? Remember when you had time for yourself? Well, by sorting through your clothes and discarding clothes that don’t do anything for you, preparing a series of outfits which are becoming your renewed individual’s status and just thinking about what you look good in will have you feeling connected to the world you are returning to. THIS IS A GOOD THING!
3. Call your friends and family. You might have done this often in the past when you were a practicing parent but now do it in the same way you did before your child left home. If you’ve neglected doing this while a full time parent DON’T think you’ll be starting from where you left off. If you are in this group, explain why you are calling them and then chat about anything other than your child. Talk about their children, their jobs and their plans – they’ll enjoy this far more.
4. Have a party! Invite old friends and new acquaintances. The theme of this party – you don’t have to broadcast it – is the new you. To put it bluntly you are now in the real world.
5. Plan for your future. Remember the things you wanted to achieve before parenting became your priority and see what you can do to achieve them. If you were doing this partially before your last or only child left home then put more energy into doing them now.
6. Count your blessings and do something for others. By doing this you’ll avoid becoming a self obsessed and unattractive person.

*If none of the above rings true – if you think it is a pile of bunkum – write your own list and adhere to that. That’s what we did.