There are many lessons to be learned from Shakespeare's great tragedy, Hamlet. The ones I took away from it, however, are actually useful. At least they have proven so in my own life.

1) Mist can look like a dead king. It's when the mist starts talking to you that problems arise.

2) Men scaring one another with ghost stories is one thing. Mentelling a grief-stricken young man about a dead, talking mist-king is quite another.

3) Ladies, have pride. Throwing yourself on a man can have disastrous consequences. Such as drowning.

4) Gravediggers have a bad habit of throwing things around. Learn to duck in cemeteries.

5) When Hamlet is normal, he speaks in verse. When he is insane or acting that way, he speaks in prose. Look for this trend among your friends. This is how the world works.

6) Trying to prove that one of your relatives killed another of your relatives is a difficult proposition. Enlist the aid of the police as opposed to actors.

7) Speaking madness, whether there is method to it or not, is not advised. Do so and your mother may call your friends.

8) Speaking with skulls is perfectly alright. But it might scare people. In the interests of public opinion, please do so in private.

So there you have it. Eight wonderful lessons to learn from Hamlet. If you take these lessons to heart, I'm sure you will be just fine.