0
votes

What if Neo had a Phobia of Swallowing Pills?

posted June 25, 2008 - 12:33pm
What if Neo had a Phobia of Swallowing Pills?

A few weeks, a flicked on the T.V. and happened upon The Matrix on some cable channel.

I tuned in at that pivotal moment when Neo was being presented those great big green and blue pulls. Damn, but those were some big ass pills! It would have been a major problem for me, because I've always had a bit of a phobia when it comes to swallowing really big pills. It's a good thing Neo didn't have such a phobia, or the scene might have gone quite differently.

Morpheus: You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill and you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.

Neo: Holy crap, those are some big-ass pills! You wouldn't happen to have those in liquid form, would you?

Morpheus:What???

Neo: I mean, I can't swallow big pills -- never could. Call it a phobia.

Morpheus: We don't have time for this. Pick a pill, suck it up, and swallow it!

Neo: (Takes the red pill from Morpheus) It's a really, really big pill!

Morpheus: Take the water and swallow it! Don't be such a big baby!

Neo: Hey, I know! Do you have any ice cream? That usually helps me get them down.

Morpheus: Yeah, yeah sure! I'll just dash off to the kitchen and see what we have in stock. Any particular flavor you'd prefer?

Neo: No, no, any flavor will do..well, if you have chocolate chip, that would be...

Morpheus: TAKE THE DAMN PILL!

Neo: You were just being sarcastic, then.

Morheus:Duhhhhhhhhhh!

Neo: I'm starting not to like you at all, Morpheus. Try to be a little more sensitive to my problems, will ya? Couldn't I just chew it up?

Morpheus: Yeah, go ahead an chew it! See how many teeth you have left! What do you think this is, a vitamin pill?

Neo: I guess not.

Morpheus: (Drops shaking head into hands) Ok, let's try this. Drop down on all fours like a dog.

Neo Complies with Morpheus's request, then proceeds to wrestle Neo to the ground. He then sticks his fingers in Neo's mouth like you would to give a dog a pill. He shoves the red pill into his mouth, and then holds Neo's jaws firmly shut with his hands. Unfortunately, Neo spits the pill right out after Morpheus releases his grip.

This goes on for awhile. Eventually, the other members of the team are brought in to help restrain Neo. They finally get the pill down him, but serious doubt is now cast on whether Neo is actually "The One."

Hey, it could've have been a cool scene. But then again, I'm a little weird.

Join Xomba to comment on this silliness.



Comments

Matrix spoof

Got quite a few strange ideas rolling around in my brain, maybe I'll give it a shot. Once again, you are too kind. :) ↑ Grab this Headline Animator Join Xomba

 
 

Fantastic kjhack!

Ha ha brilliant piece! You could write one of those spoof movies with Neo and the gang, that would be fun. Let's see some more.....+1 from me! Peace, Mia NW Visit my recent posts at: http://www.xomba.com/user/mia_northwest Get paid to be a xombie! Join us here at: http://www.xomba.com/referral/77793fec Thanks!

~Peace, Mia

Funny Matrix

It might have been interesting as a comedy, who knows. The Matrix had all the ingredients of of a good action film, but with a twist: It's a good metaphor for the world in which we now find ourselves living. ↑ Grab this Headline Animator Join Xomba

 
 

That would have been a good

That would have been a good scene if they were looking for a more comedic genre. Maybe it will be re-written and re-produced someday, sort of like the new Hulk. I think I would have developed a phobia when they showed me the big spike that was going to be inserted into my brain, which would allow me to fly around in some computer world where I can actually die in real life. That would be "a bigger pill to swallow" than swallowing an actual pill. *If you're interested in reading my articles, Click Here.

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

Post new comment

  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • You can use BBCode tags in the text. URLs will automatically be converted to links.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <p> <br> <b> <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <img> <span> <object> <param> <embed> <table> <tr> <td> <div>
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.

More information about formatting options

Join Xomba Today

Do you like to write? Would you like to make a little extra money on the side? These people do. Join the Xomba community today.
Become a Member