What if Neo had a Phobia of Swallowing Pills?
posted June 25, 2008 - 12:33pmA few weeks, a flicked on the T.V. and happened upon The Matrix on some cable channel.
I tuned in at that pivotal moment when Neo was being presented those great big green and blue pulls. Damn, but those were some big ass pills! It would have been a major problem for me, because I've always had a bit of a phobia when it comes to swallowing really big pills. It's a good thing Neo didn't have such a phobia, or the scene might have gone quite differently.
Morpheus: You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill and you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.
Neo: Holy crap, those are some big-ass pills! You wouldn't happen to have those in liquid form, would you?
Morpheus:What???
Neo: I mean, I can't swallow big pills -- never could. Call it a phobia.
Morpheus: We don't have time for this. Pick a pill, suck it up, and swallow it!
Neo: (Takes the red pill from Morpheus) It's a really, really big pill!
Morpheus: Take the water and swallow it! Don't be such a big baby!
Neo: Hey, I know! Do you have any ice cream? That usually helps me get them down.
Morpheus: Yeah, yeah sure! I'll just dash off to the kitchen and see what we have in stock. Any particular flavor you'd prefer?
Neo: No, no, any flavor will do..well, if you have chocolate chip, that would be...
Morpheus: TAKE THE DAMN PILL!
Neo: You were just being sarcastic, then.
Morheus:Duhhhhhhhhhh!
Neo: I'm starting not to like you at all, Morpheus. Try to be a little more sensitive to my problems, will ya? Couldn't I just chew it up?
Morpheus: Yeah, go ahead an chew it! See how many teeth you have left! What do you think this is, a vitamin pill?
Neo: I guess not.
Morpheus: (Drops shaking head into hands) Ok, let's try this. Drop down on all fours like a dog.
Neo Complies with Morpheus's request, then proceeds to wrestle Neo to the ground. He then sticks his fingers in Neo's mouth like you would to give a dog a pill. He shoves the red pill into his mouth, and then holds Neo's jaws firmly shut with his hands. Unfortunately, Neo spits the pill right out after Morpheus releases his grip.
This goes on for awhile. Eventually, the other members of the team are brought in to help restrain Neo. They finally get the pill down him, but serious doubt is now cast on whether Neo is actually "The One."
Hey, it could've have been a cool scene. But then again, I'm a little weird.

Comments
Matrix spoof
Fantastic kjhack!
~Peace, Mia
Funny Matrix
That would have been a good
Who is Publius?
What is Rational Liberty?
How do I join Xomba and get PAID to write?
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