They’re gonna make me do the accent. Or maybe a few lines. They’ll probably enunciate captain when I walk in the door. Everyone will chuckle. The associate producers will guffaw a little too loudly. Showing off that they’re ready for the sucking up part of being an executive. Annoying.

They’ll ask me if I'm willing to change my hair style but not in the Willy Wonka way and wasn’t that some movie? And don’t I love working with Tim? Blah, blah, blah. Nobody will ask me about Vanessa or the kids. Jeez. They could at least ask after my family. I’m only doing this for my family. I love my family.

I’m tired.

I hope this is a quick read-through. I did tell them that I have some voice-overs for Alice to do at noon…didn’t I? Shoot. Did I? Think, think, think. Did I?

Oh no. This better not be another pitch to remake 21 Jump Street . That ship has sailed…SO sailed. Jeez. Who thinks that’s a good idea? Forty year old women? The DeLuise family? It’s shite. Why do I say shite? Did I live in Europe too long? That’s mee captain accent ripping through again, heh.

Should I do another film with Tim? I’m not sure if I have it left in me to deal with him again. Maybe this film will be my last. I’ll stay home and hang with the kids while Vanessa goes on tour. I could tend to the garden instead. Did I just say tend to the garden? Damn Europe. Shoot, I should have taken the Two and a Half Men gig. Steady work. Normal hours. Jon Cryer sets up the joke and SLAM, I nail it and then go home at a decent hour.

Jeez, the guard’s gonna want to see the parking pass. Where is it? Stupid tiny glove compartment. Where’s that pass? Crap! Maybe I’ll just tell the dude that Captain Jack Sparrow is here to see Steven Spielberg. That’ll get a gate to open.

I’m so dang tired.

Aarrggh.