Well hey, I'm Christina. New to this site, obviously. So I'll write a little about myself if anyone is interested, though I highly doubt it =P

To sum it up in a nutshell..

I was born and raised in Darby, Pennsylvania. My mother gave birth to me when she was 20 years old, and my father was 19. They split up before I was born. My mother married a man by the name Danny, and they had 4 children together (thus being my 3 half-brothers and my one half sister). I grew up in an environment consisting of drugs, alcohol, and violence. I did not really know of my real father until I was the age of 8 or 9 years old..we didn't keep contact as much because my mothers family tried well to keep us separated.

My stepfather was a very violent man. He would provide everything needed for my mother and our family so he could remain in control, however that came to a halt when I was about 11 years old. My mother could not stand the constant arguing and violence anymore, so one night my mother told me to pack up all of my things and that we are leaving to New Jersey that night.

That's when life started to spiral downhill. My mother did not have much education after high school considering that she was pregnant with me. She also did not have experience working and providing for a home because she used to be a stay-at-home mom. We moved from place to place over the course of 3 years. As I grew into my teen years it became more stressful for my mom. She began to find comfort in booze and illegal drugs. And when she began to date other men, my attention seemed to disappear.

I struggled in middle school, not being able to fit in. Always the quiet one in the corner, getting teased and bullied around a lot. I would come home from school each day, sit on my computer and not come out of my house until school the next day.

Me and my mother finally had it out one day, police were involved and my real father came to pick me up so I could stay with him back in Pennsylvania. My first year of high school is such a blur. It was a high school highly populated with black people..although I did fit in. I began skipping classes to go smoke pot, staying home from school because I was too lazy to get up. It's a small suburban town of Philadelphia, and it wasn't that good of a neighborhood. I began making friends with the wrong people, getting into things that I shouldn't have. I missed my mother a lot, and when worse came to worse - I moved back in with her when she moved to Wildwood.

When I first came to the high school in wildwood..I didn't really fit in there either. I was considered the "ghetto" type of person while most students were preppy and kind. It changed my attitude over the course of a year though, and I finally made great friends. I stopped skipping classes and my grades shot right up. Things weren't at all great at home though.. my mother still had frequent depression stages, dating men, drinking booze.

I started working at the age of 15, and the day I started working was the day that I started becoming an adult.

My senior year though, oh man. Crazy. Went by so fast i can't even remember. As the year went on, I realized that I had little time to figure out what I was doing with my life. I always wanted to join the military since I was the age of about 15. Just seemed so awesome, you get to defend something you love and make a career out of it. I loved being looked up to as the "hero" type of person. So I enlisted into the DEP program for the Army and was to be shipped out for BCT (basic combat training) 2 months after I graduated.

Well. That went REAL well for me. At the time I was dating someone who I fell in love with so fast. He was in the Coast Guard stationed in Cape May, New Jersey. He lived upstairs from me for over 5 months and I knew nothing about it! (Shows how much I get out, ha). The day we met was about a week before he was set to leave for Maryland, where he was going to be stationed at next. So over the course of 8 or 9 months we were in a long distant relationship. We cared a lot for eachother and we were too much alike. Things started to get serious and around the time of my senior prom he brought up the subject of marriage. I was uneasy and thrilled at the same time. 18 years old and getting married? I thought about it a lot..and we became "engaged", or should I say "casually engaged". As time went by fast, and my time to leave for boot camp was coming up I began to think a lot. I knew our relationship would never work out if we were a dual military couple (speically coastie and soldier). So as he brought up the option for me to move in with him, I dropped out of the Army. I was supposed to leave after summer to move in with him and start going to college. I would finally get out of this hell hole, and away from my family. I thought it would be great.

Did it happen? NO. Funny actually, 2 weeks after I was supposed to ship out for basic, we broke up. Well, he broke up with me. And my heart was shattered. I still don't know a reason why. And now the constant feeling of regret kicks in. I am now a loser, doing absolutely nothing after high school while all of my friends are either in college, or currently at BCT.

Am I sad, depressed, and hate the world? Well, only sometimes. but to be honest who isn't?

I love my life, and I'm getting back on track. I'm hoping to get into better shape and re-enlist in early spring. Till then we'll see how things go :)