Why Chicago Didn't Win the Olympic Bid
posted October 2, 2009 - 2:40pmDespite First Lady Obama's efforts to impress the IOC, Chicago was not be awarded the 2016 Olympic Summer 
Games. "Why" you ask? Consider the following reasons:
Games. "Why" you ask? Consider the following reasons:
- Can you imagine a more exotic place that Chicago? How about Madrid, Tokyo or Rio de Janeiro.
- Exposure to deep dish pizza will cause Chinese gymnasts to grow to their normal size.
- Chicago legend Mike Ditka has already endorsed Tokyo.
- IOC members eager to include new events featured on crazy Japanese TV game shows.
- Former IOC President Juan Antonio Samaranch once vowed Chicago could host the games when the Cubs won the World Series.
- Due to economic collapse, US steroids are now just unrefined horse urine.
- Theme of Chicago opening ceremonies: What Are You Lookin' At?
- Spanish Royal Family has promised to supply all the horses for equestrian events. I
f you ask nicely, maybe they will let the athletes keep them. - One name: Steve Bartman.
- The wind in the "Windy City" will be good for sailing events, but will tangle up the ribbons for rhythmic gymnastics, and everyone knows rhythmic gymnastics rule the games.
- The Committee is unable to think clearly because still too upset that Winnipeg was not in the running.
- Tokyo now declared a Tom Cruise-Free Zone.
- After watching Rene Zellweger squint her
way through "Chicago", no movie fan could ever support the city.
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