I do alot of talking with teens. One thing I've known for a long time is simple... Parents and Teens don't always see eye to eye. For many years, including through my own teenage years, I always thought it was just "attitude". Or so my mother said.

Throughout history INDEPENDENCE has always been a fight. Independence doesn't come easily. It's either a compromise developed over time or an abrupt severing of ties. Parents and teens are no exception.

Usually between the ages of 13 and 17, there will be a turning point. Some parents see this as "attitude", others see it as a period of adjustment. Either way you look at it - it becomes a "fight for Independence". A cutting of the apron strings so to speak. More like a tug of war battle.

As a mother of 3+1, I expect it. When you get into the swing of being a good parent, it's really hard to turn it off. But to some extent, you need to. They're trying to gain their independence. Let's face it, they will be adults in a few years.

How on earth are we going to get past this stage?
Here is the first and most important thing you need to keep in mind. When you see the conflict coming - KNOW where it's coming from. Each teen is different but every parent wants the same thing - Happy, Healthy, Successful, Independent ADULTS. Yes, Adults! Isn't that what our job is in the first place? To mold our children into independent, functioning members of society.

We need to teach our children how to be independent. That doesn't mean give them tons of responsibilities, chores out the butt, and conflict when it's not done right. It means building the levels of trust between parents and teens over the course of those teen years. A little at a time.

They'll learn soon enough how harsh "the real world" will be. But they also need to know that no matter what happens, they have the ability to come to YOU when they need help. We say it but if they expect the conflict and the "I told you so's" to be dished from you, they won't come.

What good is it to yell, scream and punish your children for doing something stupid or almost? Live and learn, right. Parents need to quit stopping them before they do it and start allowing it to be done, as long as there aren't any broken bones or laws, and then talk about it. You'll learn more from your own experiences than from someone elses.

Good Luck!