In my role as monster hunter extraordinaire, I have written several articles describing the various ways that you can kill and/or dispatch these unwholesome creatures. Recently, in fact, I even told you how you can become a professional monster hunter. This is assuming, of course, that you have the proper qualifications, and more importantly, enough money for tuition at the Carby School for Monster Studies. For the most part, I have gotten good responses from my readers, with the exception of a few soft hearted (and dare I say soft headed) extremists, who believe that monsters have more rights than people. Fortunately, PETEM (People for the Ethical Treatment of Eerie Monsters) have not bothered me recently, not since they showed up at that Monster Zombie rally, held just outside of the Shady Rest Hotel in Hooterville. Well, I know I said it before, but now, they (along with Billy Joe, Betty Joe, and Bobby Joe) literally have no brains.   

 

      Given the above, it might surprise many of you that I do actually have sympathy and empathy for certain creatures that some may consider as monsters. No, I’m not talking about George Bush or George Clooney (depending on your political persuasion). I am talking about “The Creature from the Black Lagoon.” To me, in my guise as a softhearted scientist, I can’t help but feel bad for this poor creature. Here’s why.

 

First of all, he didn’t ask for this, it was thrust upon him. As with King Kong (another very sympathetic character) the Creature from the Black Lagoon was brutally removed from his natural habitat. As I recall, this was facilitated by an evil businessman, although a naive scientist helped, to the undying shame of all us “good scientists.” On their expedition, they also brought along a beautiful girl for some reason, most likely as bait, or perhaps because she looked really good in that swim suit. Anyway, the creature was just swimming along, minding his own business, until “Wham!” the bad guys came and took him away.

 

The creature has good taste in women. I have often wondered why it is that monsters always like the pretty girls. King Kong had the hots for Fay Rey (or Jessica Lange in the remake), and Count Dracula, the Wolfman, and even the Blob, always seemed to be attracted to pretty women. Frankenstein was the exception apparently, since did you see what that bride of his looked like? Yuuuch! But just like the majority of monsters, the Creature from the Black Lagoon liked them pretty.

 

Don’t forget, he just wanted to go home. More than anything, the creature just wanted to get the heck out of Dodge and go back to his swamp. When Dorothy wanted to do this, we all cheered and said, “Hooray! Please Miss Good Witch, help her, and let her take Toto to.” But just because the Creature from the Black Lagoon didn’t look like us, or was not soft and fuzzy, we wouldn’t cheer for him. Now aren’t you ashamed?

 

Finally, we should feel empathy and even gratitude towards the Creature, because he introduced the world to an American Icon. Clint Eastwood had his first screen role in the sequel “Revenge of the Creature.” He played a lab technician, and in his one memorable scene, he accused a cat of eating his lab rat.   Fortunately, Clint didn’t become type cast in this kind of role. Can you imagine Dirty Harry pulling a .45 magnum from his lab coat and saying, “Okay mouse, make my day!” That just would not be right. And speaking of what is not right, that goes double for what happened to the Creature from the Black Lagoon. So, that’s why I, even as a hardened and grizzled monster hunter, always shed a tear when I watch the sad demise of this movie legend.