So you want to know why men cheat?

Fine. I'll tell you, but first we must also agree that women cheat as well. Yes, I said it.

First, let me start by saying that I am no expert in relationships, nor do I claim to be one. What I have to say here is simply gathered from experience and observation. I, myself, however, am not a cheater; but I do know people who cheat.

The reasons are many, and each situation is different. However, there are common themes that are present. Now, by doing this, I am not endorsing cheating, nor giving men or women reasons to cheat. Instead, I'm explaining why some already have.

So with all of the disclaimers out of the way, let's get down to business, shall we?

Reason Number 1: Space and Opportunity
Yes, its true. Some people will cheat simply because they were presented with the opportunity. That hot coworker they were after decided to do some "overtime" with them, and things got hot and heavy. Perhaps during a "night out with the boys" (or girls!), peer pressure played a part in getting your mate to "go all the way" with that guy or girl who was flirting with them at the bar. I'm not saying that you need to keep a leash on your "other" (be they significant or not), because no one likes that. However, some men and women - when presented with the opportunity - will cheat. We call these "bad" men and women, and we should stay away from them.

Reason Number 2: Lack of the S-E-X
Men are sexual beings, and women can be just as - if not more - sexual too. Therefore, if we find ourselves in a relationship with someone who may not have as strong of a sex drive as we do, a problem arises. Now many may stop me here and argue that sex is not the most important part of the relationship, and you're right. It's not. However, it is an important part of the relationship. That said, it is a need for some men and women that has to be fulfilled. Why? Each of us need to be loved differently, and for some of us need to be loved through sex. Thus, without fulfilling that desire of your partner, they may very well feel the need to go look for that desire to be fulfilled elsewhere. Thus, they become a cheater when space and opportunity presents itself.

Reason Number 3: They're Weak
Yes, it is a vague title, so let me explain. You and your other may both know that things have not been working out, and that relationship may very well be coming to a close soon. So what will one (or both) of you be lead to do? Play the field, browse around, and get that "rebound" girl or boy lined up. Many may do it, but its those that cross the line with the "rebound" who are cheaters. I like to call those individuals "weak" because they're too weak to face the fact that the relationship is over, and would rather "move on" without their partner knowing. If it's truly over, then end it, right? It makes sense in black and white, but often we find ourselves unable to break that bond that we may have with our partner. We don't want to hurt them, yet we don't want it to be over quite yet. So we dabble, and hope nothing comes out before the relationship is officially ended. Granted, its a dumb move, but many have done it; and crossed their fingers.

Reason Number 4: You Made Him (or Her)
Yes, I turned the tables. Granted, no one says "Go forth, and cheat." However, the it can be said in different ways. How?

1. Constant Accusations. If you keep telling a plumber that he's a barber, he just might decide to cut some hair one day. The same applies with calling someone a cheater, or constantly accusing them of cheating. After a while, they'll go and do it - just so the punishment fits the crime.
2. "There's other fish in the sea." Really? How do you know? Have you been looking? Threatening your partner with the the aforementioned phrase will provoke them to start considering the other fish in the sea. Do you really want them to leave? No, however, your threat sends a different message.
3. You simply don't care anymore. Believe it or not, your partner can sense that. You've become complacent: you don't care if they call, you don't care that they canceled on plans, you don't care that you're not having sex anymore. So what does that type of attitude get you? Reason number 3 for why men and women cheat: they feel its over anyway - so why not?

And that's where it all starts. A change takes place. The love isn't there like it used to be. The sex isn't there like it used to be. The "give and take" doesn't occur anymore. Suspicions occur. You think, "(S)he may be cheating, so I should get even too!". But you won't talk to your partner about your concerns, so communication falls apart. (Notice I said "talk" to your partner about your concerns and not "accuse" them; there's a difference). And after all (or a combination) of these things has happened, then the next time he/she sees that coworker at work - a different thought process occurs. The guilt isn't there. It was replaced with his/her own insecurities and needs. (S)he wants to get even. (S)he wants the sex. (S)he wants to catch those other fish in the sea.(S)he wants to feel wanted again, even if its just for those few moments. (S)he wants to know if (s)he can get away with it, and (s)he's gonna do it; just because (s)he can.

Any questions?

Class dismissed.