As I recall, my life has been as miserable as posibble. Many people might look at my sweet face but can't get pass by. A smile in my face, might fool but a torn, broken soul and my self-esteem will never be intact.

My childhood was painful. When a normal child was allow to go out and play, I was at home doing chores. Cleaning a two bedrrom apt, the kitchen, cooking, cleaning after my brother's vomiting.Go to the laundry and wash: my three borthers clothes, mom, dad and my self. I was not allow to watch T.V., talk on the phone, or go anywhere alone.
I drowned my self in tears everyday, hoping that someone will come anf rescue me. That, they will take me away from her and that I will be happy. For fun, I use to read books. I will get lost in the stories because they were better then mine. I use to forget pain.

You might think that everyone do chores and yes, chores are someething that we do everyday. But, what did your parents did when you miss a spot? They told you, and you had to re-do it again. In my case, my mom use to beat me up. She will get a knife, vacuum chord,a broom anything that was close to her and hit me with it. She didn't care if she made bleed,that was pleasure for her. One time in particular, I remember i was taking a shower, she came and started bitching. Then turn the cold water off, turn the hot one on and put it directly to me. I never complain to anyone because I though that it was normal, that every kid got hit.

I remember when I was 12 years old she was kicking me out of the house. I cry, sat on the floor and burst into tears, I had nowhere to go. I once resignate and believe that my destiby was to suffer. I didn't know why, but I accept it. When I turn 15 instead of a party or a sweet 15 ceremony, I got s***. I cry like a little girl that day like a lost little girl. I spend many years like this. I never had a boyfriend because I couln't go out. I was 20 and working paying my own rent and food and I still couldn't be myself. To her, her three sons were the best thing. Regardless how drunkies they were and how many times they went to jail, they were the best. When I was 17, I found out that, she was not my biological mother. That, my real mother lived back in my country.

When I turn 21, I had enough. I love my father, but he never knew how bad she treated me. So, I decided to move out on my own. I got an apartment with a roonmate and lived there for 1 year. My mom though that I was going to go crawling into her door again, because I couldn't support my self. That has not yet happen. I prove to her that I was good enough. That I wasn't going to be the type of girl that got with any guy, then pregnant and had no future. I prove to her that I was better then my brother's. Now, she is sick her sons "great" sond are still drunkies don't help her out, instead they are ruin her life.

I always believe in karma. Now she is paying everything that she did to me. Now, I have my apartment on my own, I'm 23 and I'm the marketing/advertising director for a construction company.I met my bio mother and I know the reason why I didn't grew up with her. Sometimes I wish to had been poor then to had everything and get beat up. Now I see my nephew, he is 9 years old. I take a look at him, and I start thinking: you must be really cruel to put a child of that age to do everything that I use to do. Or, to hit him the way that I use to get hit.

Here is a tip: never raise a child that is not your's if you won't like them.You will mess up his/her life like you can't imagine.