In a surprise move, Tehran has admitted that it's secret underground nuclear weapons development facility is in fact a secret underground nuclear weapons development facility. The State Department was expecting to reveal intelligence later this year to make such an accusation. However, Tehran beat them to the punch. The Iranian government was forced to confess as it finally collapsed under the weight of it's own propaganda aimed at covering up the massive deep mountain excavation and cluster of 3,000 connected underground centrifuges.

Dogs & Jeans has obtained the list of explanations Iran was planning to use to rebut the US claims, and after reading it, we are sure you will agree that full disclosure was the only option. Who in their right mind would believe that the massive underground facility was actually:

• A high energy battery site where the cybernetic life form known as Lady GaGa can feed.
• Batcave 2.0.
• DisneyPersia: The soon-to-be vacation destination for Israeli families.
• A decontamination facility so powerful celebrities like Tila Tequila, David Hasslehoff and Lindsey Lohan can be made pure again.
• Sarah Palin 2012 Campaign Headquarters.
• The first of several underground sporting facilities so Iran can bid for the 2020 Summer Olympic Games.
• A bunker for all Iranian citizens just in case the apocalyptic futuristic scenarios from movies like "The Terminator", "The Matrix" or "Stop or My Mother Will Shoot" ever come true.
• The best place to grow medicinal marijuana for the whole Middle East.
• China's outsourced laundry business.