Isn’t it a great feeling when you have winked at a lady on DatingDirect.com and then find that she has winked back?

However, whilst there is that overwhelming feeling of optimism it is often quickly replaced by the sheer horror of having to initiate that all important � first contact”. Like many of the most important things in life first impressions are absolutely vital, and on DatingDirect.com or any other dating website the circumstances are no different. For most guys the preferred option is to send her a pleasant email which introduces you and puts a little smile on her face. This is potentially much harder than it seems, but here are a few tips which could come in useful.

1. Check spelling, punctuation and grammar
You will be shocked at how badly women are put off by poor punctuation, spelling and grammar, as she often sees this as a lack of care and attention – a real turn off if they are looking for someone who is articulate and makes an effort. If you are not particularly confident about your vocabulary then try writing your email in a programme like Microsoft Word beforehand and then copy and paste into your DatingDirect.com email once you have run a spell check.

2. Show a positive interest
Always read her DatingDirect.com advertisement and try to relate to it in your email. You want her to know that you have chosen her not just because of how she looks: you have seen some common ground between the two of you and for this reason you just had to say hello. She loves chocolate Hob Nobs and lazy Sunday afternoons? Brilliant, so do you, and her email made you laugh as you were just leaving your sofa (which you haven’t left all day) to go down the road to buy some more Hob Nobs! A playful white lie, but you get the picture!

3. Be careful with humour
It is difficult for someone to detect sarcasm and dry humour if they do know you as a person; it is very hit-and-miss and you would be surprised at how something which you intended to be funny can come across as rude, insulting, or just not funny at all. So be cautious with how you use it, especially in your first email.

4. Be genuine and complementary
Don’t tell her that she is the most beautiful women on this Earth: that is sad, probably a lie and also creepy. Instead, tell her that you love her pictures and think she’s really cute. You should also not be scared to show a little uncertainty – remember that she is probably just as nervous as you are. So with that in mind, if you have rambled on a little bit then why not cut your email short by saying something like “sorry, I think I’m rambling!”. This is more likely to make you seem like a nice down-to-earth guy who can make fun of himself in a playful way. She might even find it quite sweet.

5. Remember to K.I.S.S
Keep It Simple Stupid: your objectives are to initiate contact and to get her to write you back. To achieve this, your message should be short and sweet as this is most certainly not the time to be waxing lyrical about the state of the planet and other worldly affairs. You should also ask her a question in your email: not only does this show an interest but it gives her a nice comfortable platform on which she can base her response as well. Ideally the question is best if it is fairly insignificant and light hearted, as asking her about how many children she wants might actually be a little bit forward for your first email. Or your second, even. If you are stuck for ideas then there is no harm in asking her if she had a good weekend or a good day even. She will know that you are prompting conversation and giving her something to talk about – if she is interested then even such a basic question will encourage a nice email from her.

Hopefully these tips will help you write a nicely pitched first email to a woman on DatingDirect.com. A short and well written email might not set her world on fire but it will make her think that you are a decent, polite guy who deserves a chance. Finally, end the email on a pleasant note, with a line that will let her know that you are keen. A simple “would love to hear from you” would do the trick.

If things do not go according to plan then try not to take things too seriously. Rejection in the form of non-response is part and parcel of the online dating game. If it turns out that she doesn’t respond then just move on – no harm done.

Good luck!

© Kapo80, December 2008