Daniel Felder's Xombytes

(This analysis of Ernest Hemmingway's book, "The Old Man and the Sea", actually caused my highschool english teacher to CHANGE his curriculum to accomodate my ideas when he read it! And it's funny, let's not forget that...)

There comes a time in every man’s life when he must discuss the assertion, “Although Wilson populates his plays with African Americans, ‘Fences’ is a story that resonates with people of all backgrounds”. When this time comes, whether over dinner or in English class, at the theater or at the movies, he must be prepared to take the challenge as it comes. Ever watchful, ever vigilant, he must not shirk from grappling with this essential part of every man’s life. But how to answer the assertion? What methods may he use to confront this fundamental question that haunts his waking thoughts?

For the first time in his life Leo Lefkowitz sat on an empty airplane. He couldn’t remember why he’d agreed to go on this trip but then again he couldn’t remember much of anything these days. “That’s why you have a palm pilot,” his secretary had told him, “So that you don’t have to make me remember every insignificant detail of your life.”

In the summer of my eighth grade, I crawled out of the cramped tour bus where I had just spent the last three hours with two score other hyperactive eighth graders. Legs trembling from lack of use, we filed out onto the nearby lawn and breathed in the cold air of a night in our nation’s capital. We were in Washington DC, at the Washington mall; the site of the Lincoln Memorial.

More and more these days we hear, over radio and television, in the thoughts of our scientists and the mouths of our politicians; that magic word, “Globalization”. It is bandied about at parties, spoken gravely at industrial meetings and rallied against at many conventions. Political groups scream to stop it while we still can, media networks attempt to analyze it and governments seek to control and plan it.

I always get A's in my English classes.

And I never read the assigned books.

No, it's not magic and it's not bribery. I've just learned how to write an A paper and, surprisingly; it doesn't take any talent, effort or knowledge. For those hard-core honor students preparing to send me angry IM's please, read on. You'll understand what I mean soon enough and then someday you'll thank me. Your lives are about to get a whole lot easier. But first you've got to challenge some basic assumptions...

(The below was sent to several economists who support the IMF; the evil stepmother of all global economic bullies who claimed that oil prices do not actually pose much threat to the economy. As always, if you disagree with me, PLEASE

No matter what anyone has ever told you Debt is good. Investing in something with someone else’s money is fundamentally a smart thing to do. In fact, many multimillionaires still borrow money to finance projects that they could easily fund out of their pocket. Why? Because they know…