PixilatedxMe's Xombytes

The New Diet
Researchers are finding that people who eat an apple fifteen to twenty minutes before a meal injest fewer calories during their meal, causing weight loss. It has also been discovered that this tactic is up to five times more effective than most herbal weight loss supplements! Sure, it definitely sounds wonderful, but how exactly does it work? I'm writing to explain the rapidly-growing phenomena known as the "Apple Diet". For reference, you can read this article that appeared in Women's World magazine. Anyway, let's explore the innermost workings of the Apple Diet!

It is to my dismay that I realize most people think of Freddy Krueger as a mean-spirited, evil soul from Hell. I feel it is my civic duty to inform you people of the FACTS behind Freddy Krueger's rather unsavory reputation. Take this picture, for instance.

I am here to address yet another misunderstood victim of horror movie mania: the zombie. Mostly misunderstood for their insatiable hunger for human flesh, zombies have been portrayed as the foulest of supernatural beings. Once again, as with Freddy, I feel it is my duty to bring to light the ... lighter side of zombies.

The air was thick with the smell of sweet rain. The clouds had not moved in as of yet, but they hung heavy in the air, pregnant with precipitation. Slow, deep rumbles of thunder could be heard to the attentive ear. A flare of lightning carved an alabaster line through the sky and struck the awaiting ground. An eruption of color and a shower of precious brilliantly-colored stones fell from the sky, sinking into the ground to be found only by the most diligent of searchers.

Okay, can someone tell me why someone who can spend millions of dollars on a wedding can’t seem to afford a double cheeseburger off of the Dollar Menu? SERIOUSLY.

We've all heard them. The worst pick-up lines used in any bar, school, or other social gathering of people.