wHATUP's Xombytes

A Life Worth Living

A Life Worth Living

A Life Worth Living

A Life Worth Living

It is my pleasure to toast the beautiful bride and the dashing groom.

For those of you who do not know - I am the Bride's sister which is odd for me because until recently the Bride has been my little sister – I was introducing her to my friends and my new family. Now she is introducing me to hers. This new role was not an easy one for me to accept as Jennie knows. Even though I knew New York held fantastic opportunities for her, ones that would let her flourish, I was not willing to let my little sister go – I loved her too much. She was my confidante, my comedian, my best friend. But, because I loved her, and because she was going anyway, I let her go. I marveled at her growth and life in New York, in many ways I wished it were mine, but I wanted my best friend back. I asked her frequently when she was going to come home knowing that eventually she would come back to me. Then she met the Groom. I knew then that she wasn’t coming home. Her home now was where he was. I could hear it in her voice the first time she described meeting him, skiing in some far off area. She was in love. I knew this because only a girl in love could enjoy watch an Englishman ski. Soon pictures were rolling in of the two of them together and I thought “good Lord Jennie is in love with Peter Fonda”. But, I smiled because the Bride was smiling, smiling like she hadn’t in a long time. I wondered though, did this man love my sister as much as she loved him – would he break her heart? After meeting him, I immediately knew that he would not break heart and he loved her. I saw the way he looked at her, smiled at her, talked with her and kissed her – he was in love as well. Nothing would have pleased me more than to dislike him, to pick him apart so I could keep the idea that my best friend would return, but he was too damn good. He laughed with me and paid me compliments. He took naturally to my children as did they. Even my husband could talk to him…and he listened to my mother without rolling his eyes. I thought my dream was over and it was. But, the reality is so much better – I have not lost my best friend but gained a new friend, a brother. He has brought his family into our lives with all their loving kindness that I couldn’t have imagined anything better. Unfortunately, we could only offer him – my family, sorry sir. So join me now and toasting my best friend and my brother – Cheers!

A few weeks back I had the pleasure of attending a wedding at one of Tampa Bay’s palaces – the Vinoy Hotel in downtown St. Petersburg. I had remembered driving past this place when I was a kid and my parents were taking us to the Pier. I had fond memories of a dilapidated mansion looking structure that sparked memories of the Haunted Mansion in Magic Kingdom. (The Vinoy closed in the early 70’s and did not reopen until the early 90’s). I will have to say that I was not spooked in the least by the structure I saw recently. It is a breathtaking hotel with surprises around every corner like the miniature front drive that must have been made for those Shriner cars since the valets could hardly get two cars abreast or more than 5 cars within a reasonable distance to the front stairs. I have determined that the Vinoy is now my second favorite hotel in the Tampa Bay area – runner-up to the Belleview Biltmore, if it is even still there. (The Belleview always reminds me of a hotel where the Shining could’ve taken place – yeah, I got some weird horror/hotel thing going on). And I won’t even bring the Don into the conversation. I was lucky enough to get a great room overlooking the Tea Garden – what a nice little view – fountain, little plaza, manicured lawn but no Tea plants. Oh well. I informed my sister-in-law, the bride, that I would view the nuptials from my room being that the Tea Garden is where she was having her wedding the following day and since I had a perfect view and I could stay in air conditioned comfort (it was lining up to be a smotheringly hot weekend). All I can say is that a bride should not swear at her brother-in-law like that in front of family and friends and leave it at that.

When I dream of her she is beyond beautiful, in the real she has become ugly to me. In my head I never want to leave her side, in the daylight I can't wait to get away. In the fantasy her voice is like a song, today it is like a crow. In the beginning her eyes had nothing but love for me, in the end they have only comtempt. I was her shiny knight now I am her yellow coward. I used to long to see her, to feel her embrace, I wish I still felt that way. Her kisses have warmed my mind. My smile was never forced. All that was no longer is. My dreams have changed.

In the end all you have is you and who you think you are. If you can't live you, you can't live with anyone else. If you like you don't change for anyone. They must accept you for who you are, even if you must lose someone you love. You are just being you, they are trying to change you. If you hate yourself then change or lose you. Gone will be your ego, arriving will be self doubt. Depression will soon be knocking at your door. Will it take you? In the end all you have is you.

A Life Worth Living

"I said someone spotted him at the airport".

"Dammit!" the Dewer shouted.

Well, for quite awhile now Tim Dorsey has been my favorite writer. His books are kinda a Stephen King meets Carl Hiaasen - sometimes scary, often blood splattered and always hilarious. His new book is called "Atomic Lobster" and I loved it.