Sometimes I think that I watch reality shows because it makes me feel better about my life. Like when I watch the Nanny and there is some absolutely insane kid throwing things at his mom and cursing her out, and she shrugs and says, “I just don’t know why he’s like this.” I role my eyes and yell at the tv, “He’s like that because of you, Lady!” Then I look at my kids and say, “Man, I got great kids!”

I just started watching this show called “Hoarders.” Wow, I am one of the cleanest and most organized people I know. The people on this show live like animals. In fact, the apes at the zoo are cleaner! How is this entertainment? Yet here I sit watching a lady who lets piles of food rot in her house cry because her son wants to throw all her contaminated food from one of her freezers away. It’s thrilling!

And who doesn’t enjoy laughing at the shmucks who think they can sing on American Idol? Hey, at least I know I can’t sing, right? I’m not standing in a line for 3 days to let Simon Cowell tell me a dying dog sounds better then what he just heard. I don’t care what anyone says, it’s hilarious watching Simon insult people. Yes, I feel bad about it later, but right now, I’m laughin!

Don’t we all think that we can do it better though? Survivor and the Amazing Race. I just know that I can win if I get a try at that. But seriously, who let’s cameras into their homes and actually thinks that they’re going to look good, they’re not going to be made a fool of, and that their families will stay in tact? I look at Jon and Kate and say that I would have never let the cameras in. Well, maybe just one special or show so that could pay some bills. That’s probably what they said too. Then the money started rollin’ in.

We are a nation of voyeurs. Peeping Toms that pay hurting and desperate people for a glimpse into their screwed up lives so that we can pat ourselves on the back and say, “At least I’m not like them.” How sick is that? Do I feel shame for looking down on the Jon Gosselins of this world? A couch potato Dr Phil who’s got all the answers. That’s me. And you?