Here's a little Chrismas greeting card I sold many years ago:

Outside: Lots of people enjoy the hustle and bustle of holiday shopping.

Inside: What f'n planet are they from?

That pretty much sums up the way I feel about crowds. If you're one of those who gets into the holiday adrenaline rush of jam packed stores -- and the whole ambiance of the experience -- more power to you. But you'd have to shoot me first, then drag my lifeless body into Target, Wal-Mart, or and of the other countless discount retail outlets on Black Friday.

My biggest problem is lack of patience -- that and inconsiderate people who deserve a serious jolt to their behind with an iron boot for slowing my usual pace. Then there's the people who weren't aware they were over their credit limit as everyone waits in the check-out line while the whole embarrassing moment gets sorted out.

I don't really like being in the shopping malls at all during the holidays if I can help it. Those damn Christmas carols have already gotten on my tit, and it's not even December yet. Just call me Ebenezer.

Before you go thinking I'm a complete curmudgeon, I'd just like to go on record as saying that, deep down, I'm really a people person -- that is until I have to deal with hordes of cheerful idiots, all hopped on caffeine and the Christmas spirit.

Hey, to each his/her own.

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