You Know You’re Pushing 40 When…

Life seems to go in stages doesn’t it, or rather in decades. You’re a child for ten or so years, then a teenager. Soon enough you’ve made it as a twenty something and then that pivotal thirty crops up. By then you feel just a little pressure…you’re not quite middle aged yet, but it’s just around the corner, so watch out. Before you know it the big four-o is looming. You look at your life and wonder ‘what the hell happened to my thirties?’ ‘What did I do exactly?’ You don’t even remember half your twenties, and it’s not just because of the alcohol consumption in college. Or maybe it is. Your childhood is so far away in the past it seems like a dream. A very nice one too! Ah to be a child again. But I digress.

When I was a kid I used to hear the phrase ‘life begins at forty’ and thought ‘wow that’s a long way off’. In fact it seemed like a few lifetimes away. Amazing how it creeps up on you isn’t it. I just bloody well hope it’s true that’s all.

I’ve got two years left, no wait, one and a half…and the signs are there …so here we go… Thirty signs the big ‘four-o’ is coming.

You know you’re pushing forty when:

1. A teenager asks “who’s Billy Idol?”
2. You ask a teenager “who the hell is Hannah Montana?”
3. Teenagers annoy you!
4. You start eyeing the one piece swimsuits as you browse through all those tiny bikinis.
5. You hear ‘Get into the Groove’ on the oldies station and remember dancing to it when it first came out.
6. You remember where you were when Elvis died.
7. You’re not quite sure what an MP3 player is.
8. You know what a Commodore 64 is!
9. You’re still happy with your cassette tapes... thank you very much.
10. You start going to more funerals than weddings.
11. In second grade you thought your teacher was old… now you are even older.
12. You remember the first cell phones.
13. You still use a VCR.
14. Grandparents don’t seem so old...you've met Grandparents your same age.
15. You never thought you'd see the day when a black man and a white woman were fighting for a presidential nomination...how old is McCain again?
16. Your husband’s co-worker says he was only 8 when 90210 was on TV...after doing some simple math you realize you’re 14 years older.
17. A good night on the town means eating out.
18. When they find out your age young people say ‘I didn’t know you were that old.’
19. You start hanging round with sixty year olds so you can feel like the young one of the group.
20. Family members start saying annoying things like ‘you’re not getting any younger.’
21. You start seriously thinking about the pension plan you haven’t got.
22. You start complaining that the music is too loud at your favorite bar.
23. You remember when you had three TV stations to choose from and they all went off the air at night.
24. You just can’t stay up all night drinking any more…and show up for work.
25. You start thinking that maybe you need to act more responsible and mature.
26. You fall asleep during movies.
27. You start saying things like ‘when I was a kid, things were different’ or ‘kids today have it easy’, and ‘we had to walk to school…and back.’
28. You think today’s music is crap, just like what your dad said about eighties music.
29. You remember when all kids played outside…where are they now?
30. You start believing the phrase ‘you’re only as old as you feel’ and you still feel 25 so bollocks to everyone!

So if you’re nearing the milestone that is 40 years old, remember you can either embrace it and be happy with who you are, or worry about getting older. It can be hard in this youth obsessed culture, but remember it’s only that way because we allow it to be. Dismiss the ads, switch off the TV set and get out there and do something.

You can be a young 50 or an old 23. It’s all in the mind, it’s an attitude. I’ve seen people in their twenties who look and act middle aged and people in their sixties running marathons. So when others tell you ‘you’re too old to do that’ or ‘you’re getting older now…’ with that little knowing smile; ignore them and do whatever you please. If it’s skiing down a mountain, roller blading in the ‘hood’, horse riding, jumping from a plane, taking up yoga, wearing a mini skirt that you can’t bend over in (if you’ve got the legs for it) or going back to school…do it and enjoy it.

Now what shall I do for my fortieth birthday?

Alison Hill is a featured writer for Xomba.com. Read the rest of her work here .