You know your life is boring when the most excitement you have all day is getting to follow an ambulance. I was driving on the highway today and the person in front of me was driving a tad slowly. He very kindly pulled over for me...I bid him a cheery 'SAWEET...thank you mate!'...and passed. I then noticed in my rear view mirror the flashing lights. And the siren. Ooooohhhh, the fellow in the Ford Explorer had not pulled over to let me pass, he'd pulled over for the ambulance behind me. I pulled over and let the ambulance get past but very quickly got back on the road behind the ambulance. Getting to be the first one to follow an ambulance is highly exciting. Siren shrieking, lights flashing. You feel like you are in a motorcade and people are getting out of the way so you can pass. I felt like Dick Cheney visiting Oklahoma, just without the loaded shot guns and carboys full of Jack Daniels. We zigged and zagged all the way down the highway to town.

Unfortunately when we got to town the ambulance was not going the same way I was so we had to part company. This was made even worse because the next road I had to take has a seconal dispensary on it somewhere that I have yet to find. It is the only way to explain the drivers on this particular road. The cops say I am driving erratically but I'm not, I'm just trying to get past the people who appear to be driving cars propelled by clams. Clams have a muscular tongue-like foot that gives them forward momentum, and they produce great spouts of water as they shoot forward. It's environmentally friendly but not super dependable. It is, however, the only explanation I have been able to come up with for the drivers who seem to weave about indiscriminately as water shoots out their tail pipes. Or maybe I should lower my med intake?