Many law-abiding readers may be upset by the recent arrest of two church leaders for polygamy in the small community of Bountiful, BC and worried that they too might also be involved in a multiple-marriage but are unaware of it. To reduce the likelihood of Federal agents breaking down your door I offer a helpful checklist to determine if you are an unwitting polygamist.

You might be a polygamist if:
- You say “Goodnight Honey” and half the respondent’s say “Goodnight” and the other half say “Don’t you ‘Honey’ me!”.
- You have ever asked ‘Who’s wedding dress is this?”
- Traffic stops in both directions when you pull the extended mini-van over to let a kid out to play at a friend’s house.
- You named your kids after the Apostles, and then had to move on to Stooges, Dwarves and the original members of Lynard Skynard.
- Telemarketers call asking “if any of the women of the house are home?”
- You have more mothers-in-law than you have bellybuttons (we’ll wait while you count either one).
- The local cemetery gives you a discount on bulk burial plots.
- An entire day of laundry is devoted just for washing the towels marked “Hers”.
- The only computer with enough memory to keep track of your family’s birthdays and anniversaries is owned by NASA.

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