The fuel to any good conversation revolves around the non-verbal cues and vocal inflections that are involved in every conversation. Certainly, the material has to be something that the girl can emotionally invest herself into, and therefore, should have an interest in; however, assuming that the guy has found a topic that the girl is interested in, and something that she would like to discuss more, if his voice is monotonous, emotionless, and he seems rigid/uptight as opposed to loose and relaxed the girl is not going to want to continue the conversation.

Girls will typically react proportionally to the way a guy behaves in regards to the conversation. They can feel more comfortable laughing and joking around if the guy is joking around. Certainly, they may try to joke around with a guy at first, but if he’s not reciprocating the same emotional values that she’s putting into the conversation, she’s more than likely to start feeling uncomfortable (Face it, guys, you’d feel the same way if you were trying to joke around and the girl wasn’t laughing either). So, seeing a guy who’s rigid and tense to the point where he seems nervous, would almost absolutely make the girl feel uncomfortable and nervous herself.

An emotionless and monotonous voice doesn’t even give the girl the chance to understand how she should react.

And all this leads up to one simple fact: Attitude means a hell of a lot when talking to a girl.

Ironically, girls are a lot more honest when talking about what they want in a guy. A vast majority of girls will typically list sense of humor, kindness, honesty, and confidence as major characteristics they want in a guy. But, as guys, many of us (including myself at one point), think that most of this is typical girl bullshit. They say one thing and mean another. And in some cases, we’re probably right. In this case, we couldn’t be further from the truth.

Sure a girl wants an attractive guy. She wants a guy who has money. Drives a Porsche. All that other crap. But here’s the key. For many girls, those are all secondary to the traits that they actually say they want in a guy. Sense of humor, kindness, honesty, and confidence are huge.

However, in meeting girls, one of the major issues that guys have comes with having confidence. Certainly, the initial approach can be nerve-racking enough, but beyond that, the guy has to hope that what he’s saying will interest the girl. He’ll generally worry that the girl may be looking for a way to leave. He may even manage to stumble and stutter over his words. And all of these convey the fact that the guy is uneasy about even having a typical conversation.

So, the key to actually getting past this, is establishing the proper mentality before even walking out the front door. Not necessarily pulling off one of those cheesy movie scenes where the guy looks in the mirror and basically tries to tell himself he’s a stud. Moreso, going through everything in your head. Getting that confidence built up. And, if looking in a mirror and talking to yourself is the best way to do it, more power to you. You’re only crazy when you start answering your own questions.

However, in response to some questions I’ve had privately in the past, there is a proper mentality to establish. There is a fine line between arrogance and confidence. The “I’m Better Than You” thinking is not something that will work in any conversation because either you’ll actually make the person feel depressed if they actually believe that, or, more than likely, you’ll piss them off and they won’t want to have anything to do with you. Instead, it’s better to have the thinking that people should “Want to Hang Out with You.” The reasoning for this is simply because if people should want to hang out with you, there’s obviously something you have to offer. Crazy experiences like diving with great white sharks. Funny jokes. Whatever it is, there is some reason why people should like you, and more importantly, why girls WILL like you and because it’s the thinking that you have something to bring to the table. Something that will draw her interest. And not just that you are the shit and everyone else should actually want to be like you.

So, considering this was short, and to somewhat validate my thinking as well as methodology…………here goes. I hope you all realize I could be screwing myself for future “meetings.” Although, technically, I’ve shared it with a select few before so, I’ve already set myself up for the “you’re a pick-up artist, aren’t you?” question in the future.

The British Handshake

To give you a little background here, I typically had a business like mentality for myself when I was younger (NOT that I’m old now), and actually have worked in sales professionally. One of the things I learned at that point in time was that the handshake was one of the most important first impressions any person in business could actually give. A firm handshake is a sign of confidence and respect. A fish handshake where there’s no real clasping of the palms is a sign of weakness. And an overly strong handshake, well, you’ve obviously enjoyed working out by yourself.

And while it’s cool to call a guy out on their handshake, I realized that I don’t think I’d ever seen a guy call a girl out. So, the idea here becomes to call a girl out on her weak handshake and instead of just letting it go and pretending I didn’t notice it was a weak handshake, I’ll stop and ask if they’re British. Properly, this should be done when exchanging names. However, normally she‘ll respond by asking why, or saying yes or no, but the key is to point out that the way they shake hands is like the way movies show women offering their hands to men in Old England, where it’s all prim and proper and you’re supposed to kiss the back of their hand (not saying that British people have limp wrists). However, the way this ultimately works is that the mood has to be light when saying this. There should be a smile on the guys face to let her know that you‘re just joking, and if it seems like everything’s going well......a kiss on the back of the palm and a nice twirl always makes things more exciting while they’re giggling like little school girls.

This can be modified to almost any given situation, including when the guy gives a weak handshake, but come on….I’m not sharing EVERYTHING about this one. Regardless, the point of this actually helps to sexualize the dialogue and, if done correctly, allowing her to laugh at something she’s done, despite the fact that you’re critiquing something about her.